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| 11:06pm 13/04/2006 |
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mood: panic music: the buzz in my head
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damn i never write in this. this is my life.
Panic attacks, fights, Nonexistant friends, everything going shitty,
fuck labels, being sick, smoking weed to calm me down, wanting to break
something, fucked up hand, hardly on the internet, losing motivation,
wanting to move to cali and leave this shitty state, getting prepared for school,
antisocial, hateful family, suicide, metal, depression, cant find a job, fucked car, no money, stuck, low self esteem, cant get close to people, shy, always nervous, hating the social scene. Fuckkkk im fuckkedd up
way to many anxiety / panic attacks. i think to much and i get stressed out and it gets me all weird. heart races, hard to breathe, arms get numb, chestpains. |
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| 11:41pm 07/03/2006 |
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yea my life is shitty. I feel like i lost my 2 best friends and im broke. Why does everything have to revolve around money and popularity. I really hate the way things are going. Fuck This. Fuck Life. |
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| A drunk nun having a abortion that was caused from getting raped by a black dude 666 hail satan FUCK |
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| 12:00am 24/02/2006 |
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mood:  pissed off music: Devourment
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My life sucks. Fuck. Everytime I have a oppurtunity to find someone compatible I get weirded out after a week or so and fuck up. WTF! And when I am sincere I get fucked. And everything has to be so difficult. I finally get insurance and my car doesnt work. I get a job offer and I cant take it cause I have no way to get there. My fucking school papers are taking forever to get here. All I do is sit around cause I cant do anything else. This weather is depressing. Why the fuck do I write in here. O yeah BOREDOM.
one thing after a fucking nother. People change, times change, and things are so different now.
People put on facades alot to keep their social status up. It fucking pisses me off. Why cant you just be sincere instead of a flake. Why do I get so mad. Garantees going up to 350 for bands that only played the east coast once. FUCK THAT!! there is no pride or culture in music anymore nowadays. its all about the $$$$$$. And everyone has become Clique and formed little clicks. Everyone used to be friends last year, now its in 15-25 little mini clicks and it is fucking lame. Fuckkkkkkkk. Im going to go get drunk. |
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| 02:36am 23/02/2006 |
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mood:  dirty music: dragonforce
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word out on the street we might play a show with Blood In Blood Out / Strength For A Reason. Hell yea I hope we find a ride to dayton. Hardcore Lives!! hahahaa I seen BIBO last saturday in columbus. Fuck I love those guys and it was tough as hell. A REAL fucking hardcore show. |
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| 09:56pm 22/02/2006 |
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mood:  high music: commit suicide
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Smoke tons of reefer and play metal! o god my fingers hurt from playing guitar for hours. Ive been practicing immobile pope mobile from Signs Of Collapse. Im hoping to try out for them and whatnot. Man I need a fucking car that works. I hate sitting around. im going to go get wasted and fuck around on photoshop. Man Spark it up brahhh. go listen to these guys and support them!!
www.myspace.com/signsofcollapse
these guys also
www.myspace.com/crossme |
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| !!!! |
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| 12:44pm 15/02/2006 |
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mood:  happy music: Impaled
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I just recieved a END THIS DAY sticker in gold font!!! Making me 2239392469429649349916995913 times sweeter than you!!! Fuck Yea happiest guy ever. |
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| your all going to dieeeee |
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| 05:48pm 31/01/2006 |
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mood:  Fuck You music: blood in blood out
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this week is going to be sweet. Weds NILE/DECAPITATED/WITH PASSION. A dream come true.
Friday is TTEOTD, DESPISED ICON. Ive been so pumped for this show. Time to mosh like a asshole!!
I get so hyper to DI. They make me want to hurt people and im kinda wondering if security is going
to be dicks cause I will snap a niggas neck. hahahahaahahaa. CROWDSLAYER!!! FUCK YES!! I hope I can
find a pair of boxing gloves for that show. If not fuck it, bare hands! Practice saturday. Two shows
in a row sunday/monday with colin of arabia. that is going to be so fun. Havent playeed a show in a year and a half. finallllyyyy. I landed a front flip today. I feel so good. 1 outta 5. but still i landed!
Now I gotta learn backflips. Thank you Youtube for existing!!! |
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| lol |
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| 12:42pm 26/01/2006 |
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mood:  bouncy music: CDC
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" I dont want you here, Noone Wants you here!! SO GET THE FUCK OUT!! "
NEOHHC CHATROOM is awesome! So much fun!! Alot talk about n00dz and cocks on pRon. hahahaha
So CROSS ME is working on new material. In the depths of Champion / Killing The Dream.
Its going to be off the hizzle. We are recording this saturday 2 songs for the EP.
Its going to be put out DIY until we can get a label to sign with. There are
2 labels looking at us from the 2 songs already posted on myspace. Plus we are re-recording
and spicing up those songs on myspace. Its going to be a good time. A august tour is getting booked right
now. Fuck Yea. Here to Boston and back! We have 2 guest vocalist to throw down tracks next month after the songs get recorded and mixed. We need as many kids as we can to come and do gang vocals!!!
www.myspace.com/crossme |
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| o man |
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| 05:01pm 21/01/2006 |
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mood:  blank music: Killing The Dream
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yesterday was a bunch of randomness. Turned into a different person and played poker on psp. I do not remember alot. I just woke up today and read my LJ and was like what the fuck is this. hahahahahahahah
o geezz. Im going to band practice. Over and Out. |
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| 03:17pm 20/01/2006 |
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mood:  stressed music: goratory
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"the main thing is the torment as he watches as i rip and cut and mutilate the innocent again and again and on and on"
"I like to dissect humans. Did you know im utterly insane!"
Man sweden is sweet!! |
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| 11:55pm 19/01/2006 |
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mood:  predatory music: lil wyte
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i have no life that is why im so involved with music. It is my passion and the only thing i love.
My ADD disables me to concentrate on anything else. It fucking sucks. Kids always joke around about
having ADD but usually dont. It is sooo horrible.
I really hate memories of the last 2 years. I wish I could forget everything. Fuck it.
issac is picking me up for practice tomorrow cause i need to learn the 3 songs and we need to write 4 songs.
Because we will be playing with colin of arabia 2 days in a row now. The 5th in cleveland and the 6th in columbus.
Brandi, Kursten and I are going to Despised Icon the 3rd. They are going to experience their first metal/hardcore show. O Geezz. hhahaa Hope they are ready to get slayed by like 365486846 kids.
Im actually going to dance cause ive been waiting so long for this. TTEOTD are going to slay people.
I already see it happening. Alex better bring more Beneathe The Massacre eps so I can get a new one.
Im not too sure why Despised Icon makes me so violent when I listen to them but kids better watch
out when they play cause im going to UNLEASH THE BEAST!!! hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha
car get fixed so i can get that cell one job. geeezzzzzz. |
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| Arrghh |
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| 05:47pm 19/01/2006 |
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I am the king of all kings! |
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| 04:45pm 18/01/2006 |
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mood: hyper music: Killing The Dream
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Cross Me practice tomorrow! Im pretty pumped. Its going to be hella hard.
I think with all our influences its going to be pretty intense. Only we are going for the more sincere
vibe of hardcore bringing up issues in the scene and world that need to change. With them loving
champion and allegiance and me hooked on killing the dream and another breath, its going to be a melodic,
choatic, sincere straight from the heart project. I guess we already have good shows soon and are
in the process of getting on the warriors show!!! I hope to god this happens. I will be completely satisfied with life! hhahaha All new material also. Add That shit up!!
www.myspace.com/crossme
Feb 6th Columbus
Colin Of Arabia
Hangtime
Cross Me
3 others
Feb 15th
XLooking ForwardX
Cross Me
Stregth Holds Promise
Hopefully march 10th!
THE WARRIORS
BLACKLISTED
EMBRACE THE END
either way ill be there fucking representing
Support A SET DESIGN BOOKING! Go to all their shows!! www.myspace.com/asetdesignbooking |
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| Yeaaa Fuck Yeaa Still Holding on! |
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| 02:01am 18/01/2006 |
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mood:  working music: Decapitated
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So I am finally back on my feet in the scene!
It took a month and a half but i finally found my place again.
So the ATF/Caulfield Principle show was really good. All the bands slayed!
I got attacked by kids at my distro and made close to 150 bucks! All that is going into new merch.
Way to go guys!! As LT would say "Good Hustle!"
I've been hanging out alot with this girl named brandi. She is amazing. She supports everything i do
which keeps me strong. Yeaa! I basically live with her in boardman cause she kidnaps me from my grandmas
and i stay for days. hahaha. Met this girl named kursten from kent. She is hella awesome also. More hangouts for sure. I love issac. That kid is sooo sincere and is helping me out soo much. Im in legendary also. Im really pumped for that. I cant wait to start practicing with those guys. Cheesecake pudding is sooooo delicious. I am going to terrorfest!!! That show is going to be insane!! Everyone else should be going too. My life is starting to get better. FINALLY! Now all i have to do is wait for my car to get fixed and get that call job down the street. Once I get a job my Distro is going to explode. Im going to order so much. Mostly rare harder to get releases.
FEBUARY 3rd KENT!!!
DESPISED ICON!!!!!!
THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DEAD!!!!!
Im going to unleash at that show. Ive been waiting soo long! Got new moves in the works ;)
O SHIT MARCH 10TH!! PIRATES COVE!!
EMBRACE THE END
THE WARRIORS
BLACKLISTED
I am currently talking to labels and bands trying to get fronted merch to represent their labels
and get their names out in this area. I see a bright future. Mostly smaller labels and bands.
Here is a list of some im looking into.
JOB FOR A COWBOY
LIFE LONG TRAGEDY
THE CLASSIC STRUGGLE
BENEATHE THE MASSACRE
ROBINSON
VORTEX
KILLING THE DREAM
+ WAY MORE
CLOTHING LINES ALSO. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTED EMAIL ME AT :
IIIBOOKING243@YAHOO.CA |
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| Yo Yo Yo Whats up in the hizzle! |
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| 02:15am 02/01/2006 |
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Hell Yea. Finally got internet back. I can now post insulting and degrading post now!
Fuck Yea! Last night I went to Bradys party for NYE It was Aight. I had fun and got totally demolished.
That wasnt my intention, but that is the usual i guess. hahha. Man Into Eternity rulez.
I am so sick of all these trendy ass wannabe "hardcore" kids trying to add me on myspace.
Shit needs to change and get real. I mean hardcore is amazing if its sincere, but most of the time its a joke and its getting old.
Just cause you put (f.w.a./ 212, etc) before your name doesnt make you cool.
every band coming out sounds the same. Get some fucking diversity.
Lately I could give a fuck about being active in the "social scene".
I noticed a couple of people i used to be close with got sketchy as fuck. But whatever.
I seen it coming.
I am working on tons of new designs,shows and t shirt designs.
My cousin is doing the artwork for my first shirt and a couple other things.
We have some sick ass ideas in the works.
I will working on booking one of these bands in the next couple months..
WITH PASSION
EMBRACE THE END
THE WARRIORS (im trying my hardest)
Im really addicted to Poker and will destroy you..
Smoking blunts, getting crunk, WSOP on PSP, and listening to 36 mafia is a everyday thang.
Im not letting shit get fucked up. I got alot of work to do for the next couple months. There is a possibility of me going to Kent or CCC. I will know where in the next couple months.
SCHOLAR is kinda fucked right now. We need a drummer.Our old drummer is a close minded fuck and nothing is going to work with him, I have guitar parts written that range from Suffocation, Despised Icon, Embrace The End, etc. If you read this and play drums, let me know if your interested. We really need to start playing shows again. Ive been working on a fast paced project just on guitar though. Its like Killing The Dream, Life Long Tragedy and Champion. I would like to get that started as a band already. I have one song written. Anyone interested let me know ASAP!!! I havea place we can practice at!! |
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| I hate hippies cause I live with a bunch of them |
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| 04:22am 30/08/2005 |
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So ive been in New York for a month and it definately put thoughts in my head. Thoughts about the past, present and future.
Things that Ive had, Things that I want and reality of what is currently happening. I sit and think hours upon hours how life this year is going to be so much different.
It is diffucult traveling around the US and keeping in contact with people. I try my hardest to though. I will be going to california for about 2 months and it is going to change everything when we get back.
I think about certain people and how we used to be so close and how now everything is sooo different. Its like I dont even know who they are anymore. I hope my odds are on the high stakes and I make $$$ on the california run. So far in New York City I bought a PSP and Hot Shots Golf, Coded arms and Dave Chapelle UMD video and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Vol 2 and 3. Next week im going to be rolling 1150 deep and partying hard after labor day. Its going to be amazing. Im getting a new cell phone soon so ill hook you all up if you are interested. |
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| 05:16am 14/07/2005 |
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I hope a bum robs me and kills me cause I hate my life. Fuck everything and everyone. |
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| 05:50pm 23/02/2005 |
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My laptop is broken. My life is over. I love the risk taken. Best band ever. April 29th is coming together good. |
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| 05:24am 29/01/2005 |
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Step up to the plate! What have you got to lose?
What the fuck did you expect! You never meant SHIT TO ME.
wow. so fucking amazing. |
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